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Oct. 5th, 2010

Writer's Block: Who's your daddy?

What famous person from history would you have liked to have as a parent, and why?

Feb. 22nd, 2010

Writer's Block: Life Unplugged

How long can you survive without mobile or Internet access before you break into cold sweats?

Well I can usually go the whole day at work.  But as soon as I get home I am glued to the computer.  Come on I get up an hour early just so I can have my computer time before work.

Jan. 21st, 2010

Writer's Block: A rose by any other name ...

How did you choose your LiveJournal username? Is there an interesting story behind it?

Way back in 2004 early 2005 I read this book called Tired of Being Tired.  This book changed my whole outlook on the things that I put into my body.  I was determined to eat healthy.  There were two ingredients that I needed to stay away from.  One was high fructose corn syrup and the other was partially hydrogenated oils.  So when I was setting up my lj account highfructose_cs was the first thing that popped into my head.  LOL

Dec. 25th, 2009

Fic: Remember Susan/Talia Part 22

Title: Remember (Part 22/?)
Fandom & Pairing Babylon 5 Susan/Talia
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Talia persuaded Susan to take a shower and change while she made her some tea. She could hear Susan moving around in the bathroom. A smile broke out on the telepath's face. For a brief moment Talia pretended the last ten years never happened. This was just another typical night spent with her lover.

Susan was staring at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were swollen and red from all the crying she had been doing. Susan picked up the brush and ran it through her wet hair. She sighed feeling so lost and alone. Granted Talia was in the next room but that did little to ease the ache she felt inside. She turned off the light and headed out into the living room.

Susan emerging from the bathroom brought Talia back from her day dream. She finished pouring the tea into mugs and joined Susan on the couch.

"Do you feel better?", she handed her a mug. Susan accepted the drink. She tired to smile but it just didn't reach her eyes. "A little." She barely got it out, her throat was dry and scratchy from all the crying.
Talia placed her hand on Susan's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm sure once you get some rest you'll start to feel better. She took a sip of her tea enjoying the hot liquid sliding down her throat.
Susan scooted closer to Talia and rested her head on her shoulder. She felt safe whenever she was with the telepath. Talia automatically wrapped her arm around Susan's shoulder and held her close. Susan relaxed into the embrace. Just being in this woman's presence calmed her. She buried her nose in the telepath's warm neck. She started to place small kisses along her neck.
Talia was enjoying the closeness of Susan. She thought she would never feel Susan in her arms again. The last ten years had been so lonely without her love. She was momentarily startled by the soft kisses on her neck but her body responded automatically as it always did. She pressed closer to Susan, a small moan escaping her lips. "Oh Susan," she purred in her deep alto voice.

Hearing the telepath moan seemed to encourage Susan. She kissed her way to the telepath's lips. Before Talia had a chance to say anything she felt Susan's lips on hers. The touch was electric. She never thought she would feel those lips kissing her again. All rational thought had left her brain replaced with intense desire for the woman next to her. Talia deepened the kiss, slipping her tongue into Susan's mouth. She ran her hands up and down Susan's back. She could feel Susan's hands doing some exploring of their own. When she felt one of her hands sneak underneath her sweater she tried to pull back.
"Susan, wait," she panted against her neck, pulling out of her embrace. Susan whimpered at the loss of contact. Her face was flushed and her eyes were dark with desire. She tried reaching for Talia again but was stopped.

"Susan, sweetie you need to slow down. I don't want you to do something you'll regret later." It was tearing Talia apart inside, she wanted nothing more than to make love with Susan. But she had to think about Susan instead of herself. She knew she was feeling so vulnerable and didn't want to take advantage of that. She had to stop herself before she reached the point where she couldn't.
Susan raised her eyes to meet the telepath's. She was trying so hard not to cry but she was feeling so empty. "Talia please", she grabbed her hands and help them up to her lips. She placed kisses on her knuckles. "I want to feel something besides the emptiness, make me feel Talia, please." She was begging but she didn't care.

The desperation pouring from her voice tugged at Talia's heart. She loved Susan more than anybody or anything. She couldn't refuse such a heartfelt plea. Talia moved back into her embrace bringing her lips crashing against Susan's.

Nov. 25th, 2009

Fic: Remember Susan/Talia Part 21

Title: Remember (Part 21/?)
Fandom & Pairing Babylon 5 Susan/Talia
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Dr. Stephen Franklin sat at his desk surrounded by numerous test results. He flipped between several reports, checking and double checking the results. He began to shake his head in disbelief. "This can't be right," he muttered to himself. He spent the last two hours administering every test known to man. He was searching for any clue that would lead him to understand what was done to Susan. Stephen decided he wanted to talk with Michael before he broke the news to Susan. He activated his link, "Franklin to Garabaldi. He waited patiently for Michael to answer his page.

Michael was a bit surprised that the doc was contacting him through the link. He was only a few feet away in the main area of Medlab. Perhaps Stephen thought he left. While Susan was here in Medlab he wasn't going anywhere. Michael activated his link, "Is there a problem Doc?"
"No, could you come into my office for a minute." Michael glanced over at Talia and shrugged his shoulders. "I'm on my way."
Michael stuck his head into the doctor's office. "Why didn't you just come out and get me?" He took the seat opposite Stephen's desk and sat down.
Stephen sighed "I know there would be a lot of questions and I don't have any answers. I ran every test imaginable and came up with nothing."
Michael's brows raised in disbelief. "You found nothing. What was done to Susan had to leave a signature behind."
"I"m sorry Michael I triple checked these results and got the same outcome each time." He threw the useless results on his desk.
"From what Susan told me the procedure was very experimental."
"If I were able to talk with the doctor who performed the procedure that would help a great deal. Stephen started to feel hopeful.

Michael began shaking his head. "That's not possible he died a few years ago and all his research went with him."
Stephen sighed, "I'm not going to give up. It might take a little longer than I expected but I will fix this. Now I just have to break the news to Susan."

Michael stood to leave the office. "If you'd rather I tell her......
Stephen shook his head. "Thanks Michael but I would rather tell her myself. I want her to know that I'm not giving up and will do everything in my power to help her.

Susan felt broken. Dr. Franklin just left the exam room after giving her the news. He vowed to continue working until her memory was restored. She didn't feel comforted by that at all. Susan wrapped her arms around herself in a hug. Part of her wished she never came to Babylon 5 and discovered the truth.

Memories of her life on Proxmia began filtering through her mind. A small smile formed on her face as she recalled fond memories. It might not have been her life but it was a good one. She had been happy surrounded by friends and family. She slowly made her way to the viewport and looked out into space. She didn't want to think about anything else tonight. She gathered up her things and left the exam room.

Entering the med lab she spotted Michael and Talia waiting for her. She smiled when the telepath noticed her.
Talia got up from her chair and met Susan halfway. She placed a hand on her cheek. "Are you ok?" Michael stood beside the two women offering his support as well.
Susan leaned into the comforting touch and sighed. "Can we just leave here? I'm so tired. I don't want to think anymore." She rested her head against Talia's shoulder.
"Sure whatever you want." She placed an arm around her shoulders and hugged her close. "How about I take you back to your quarters and you can get some rest?

Susan lifted her head looking straight into the telepath's eyes. "Will you stay with me, I don't want to be alone?"
Talia wanted to tell Susan that she would do anything she asked of her. She wanted to tell her how much she loved her and missed her all these years. But she knew that would be too much for her to take on right now in her fragile condition. She didn't remember the love they shared but Talia would remember for the both of them.
"Susan I told you earlier that I was going to be here for you no matter what. So yes of course I will stay with you." She smiled at her and placed a kiss on her forehead.

Nov. 18th, 2009

Fic: Remember Susan/Talia Part 20

Title: Remember (Part 20/?)
Fandom & Pairing Babylon 5 Susan/Talia
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N Sorry about the delay. I've so busy with real life these past few weeks. All my social commitments are done and now I have time to focus on the story. I would like to thank all the readers who have stuck with me.

Michael couldn't take the desperation he heard in his friend's voice. He wrapped his arms around his friend and held her close. He pulled back to look into her blood shot eyes. "I think a good place to start is with Doc Franklin. He can run a complete checkup on you."
Susan's eyes went wide with fear at the mention of a doctor, she tried to wriggle out of Michael's embrace.

"Whoa calm down. There's nothing to be afraid of Stephen is a friend and wouldn't do anything to harm you." He led Susan over to the sofa in his office. Why don't you sit here and try to calm down. I need to make a quick call before we head down to medlab." He noticed a vacant enter Susan's eyes as she complied with his request. He slowly made his way to the console and placed a call to Talia.
Within a few seconds Talia's head appeared on his screen.

"Michael did you find Susan?"
"Well hello to you too, he couldn't help but chuckle at Talia's straightforwardness.
"Well did you Michael?" She was getting frustrated that Michael wouldn't just tell her. She had been so worried about her since she left the restaurant.
"Yes, she's here with me now."
Talia visibly relaxed at the news.
"I'm going to head down to Medlab and wanted you to meet us there. I think she could use another friendly face."

Michael made his way back to Susan. He found her just staring at the wall with tears streaming down her face. He gently laid his hand on her shoulder.
"Susan are you ready?"
She jumped at the unexpected contact. She had been so deep in thought she didn't notice Michael come back into the room.
"I'm sorry I startled you. Are you ready to go?"
Susan just nodded her head and got up to follow the security chief.

Talia left her quarters and quickly made her way to the Medlab. She couldn't wait to see Susan again. She was overjoyed to find out that Irinia was in fact her beloved Susan. She didn't have time to time to relish in that revelation Susan had bolted from the restaurant. All she wanted to do was hold her and never let her go. Talia paced back and forth in front of the Medlab doors.
Susan entered Medlab closely followed by Michael. Talia felt her before she saw her.

She stopped her pacing and headed towards the new arrivals. At her first glimpse of Susan she felt joy. It was quickly overshadowed by worry. Susan looked so lost and broken. Her heart ached for Susan's pain.
"Susan", Talia softly called to her. Susan turned when she heard her name. It was still odd to her to be called anything but Irinia. Thinking of her former life brought tears to her eyes. She blinked them back and tried to focus on who was calling her. She was surprised to see it was Talia. She raised her hand and waved.

Talia wasted no time and quickly found herself at Susan's side. She wrapped her arms around the fragile woman and hugged her close. She felt Susan cling to her and return the embrace. Talia whispered soothing words of comfort into Susan's ear, hoping to calm the woman. She felt her relax in her arms.

Dr. Stephen Franklin emerged from his office. He had been briefed by Michael about the situation. He slowly approached the two women.

"Susan I'm Dr. Franklin, I'm not sure you remember me but I'm your friend and I want to help you anyway that I can."
Susan looked at the doctor. He claimed to be her friend but her trust in doctors these days was nonexistent. She looked at Talia for some reassurance. "Will you go with me?" It was spoken so low Talia almost missed it.
Talia placed her hand on her cheek and she leaned into the touch. "Of course I will come with you. I will be here with you every step of the way." Both women followed the doctor to an exam room.

Oct. 28th, 2009

photo with cristine rose

Oct. 18th, 2009

Fic: Remember Susan/Talia Part 19

Title: Remember (Part 19/?)
Fandom & Pairing Babylon 5 Susan/Talia
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Andrei wasn't prepared to be answering these questions. It had been so long ago when this all started. He vowed never to talk about it again.

He turned his back on her. It hurt too much to see the pain in her eyes, knowing he was responsible for it.

Susan wasn't going to let him off that easy. She marched right up to Andrei and forced him to look at her. "I need to know what you did to me, you owe me that much."

"Dr. Kranz  had been involved in various projects all centering around the brain. We didn't know it at the time but he had managed to get complete brain scans of every member of the crew including you and I. He was using these scans for various experiments he was conducting. Most of those experiments were not approved.

When you were brought aboard our ship you had no memory of who you were. Dr. Kranz  thought it was fate you ended up where you did and the condition you were in. He came to me pleading with me to come to the infirmary and see what he discovered. I was too overcome with grief to leave my quarters and I dismissed him. He went ahead with the procedure without my consent.

I didn't understand the process but I know it involved transferring brain patterns. I was so furious with him for what he did that I had him thrown into the brig. When I went to the infirmary you were awake. I was stunned and when you called me father I was overjoyed. I had my daughter back." Tears were streaming down Andrei's face.

In a small, quiet voice Susan spoke. "Can it be reversed?"

Andrei turned his watery eyes towards her. A mix of guilt and sympathy etched on his strong face. "I'm sorry I don't know. Dr. Kranz died a few years ago and I made sure no records of his research existed."

"I want you to know that I still think of you as my daughter and that will never change."

Susan turned to him and lashed out. "You were responsible for taking my identity away. Do you think I could ever trust you?"

Susan couldn't take anymore. She had to get away. She ran from the gardens. Andrei and Dimitri both called out to her. She didn't look back.

Coming around the corridor leading away from the gardens Susan collided with Zack.

"I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention", Susan looked up at Zack. "It's Zack, right. She remembered him from the customs incident.

"We've been looking for you Ms. Kralick."

Susan winced upon hearing her "former name".

"Why were you looking for me?" She really didn't care but needed something to get her mind from thinking about what Andrei just revealed.

"The Chief gave orders to find you and bring you to the station house. He didn't say why. But that's the chief for you. He laughed at his little joke. She could see Ms. Kralick wasn't really that interested. Zack activated his link, "All security patrols Ms. Kralick has been located. I repeat Ms. Kralick has been located. Please return to your previous assignments." Zack closed the link and opened a channel to Michael.

"Chief, I have Ms. Kralick and I am bringing her to the station."

"Good work Zack I'll be there to meet you."

Zack looked at Irinia. He grabbed her elbow and she followed without resistance.

Michael was indeed there to greet them. His eyes went to Susan's face. He dismissed Zack. He guided Susan to a chair and motioned for her to sit. "Are you ok?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck and began to sob. He held her close and whispered reassuring words into her ear. "It will be ok. You are with friends now and we will take good care of you."

Susan looked up at him with tear filled eyes.  "I want to remember who I am.  I feel so lost.  Help me find my way."


Oct. 4th, 2009

Fic: Remember Susan/Talia Part 18

Title: Remember (Part 18/?)
Fandom & Pairing Babylon 5 Susan/Talia
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Irinia was startled by her father's sudden appearance.

"Father! Where did you come from you scared me half to death!"

Andrei chuckled. "I saw you and Dimitri in the garden so I decided to come over."

Yeah right, Irinia thought to herself. He was probably following her. I can't believe how calm he is.

"Father I need to speak with you it's rather important."

"Of course my dear. Why don't we go to your quarters where we will have some privacy."

Irinia shook her head. "No I would rather talk here and now."

"Ok calm down my child. What's got you so upset?"

Irinia cringed hearing him call her his child. She stepped up to Andrei and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Who am I?"

Andrei was confused my his daughter's question. "I don't understand Irinia are you playing some kind of game?"

"I'm not playing games. I know I am not your daughter. Just please tell me who I really am." Tears were threatening to spill down her cheeks.

"Of course you are my daughter! What has gotten into you Irinia? Is it that security chief? I told him to leave you alone."

"Why? What are you hiding?" Irinia began to sob.

Andrei couldn't stand to see her cry, ever. He waged a war within himself. He wanted to tell her the truth but he knew he would lose her forever.

"I love you Irinia. Everything I've ever done was because I love you. Please try to remember that."

"If you love me you will tell me the truth."

Andrei had tears in his eyes. "Come sit down I will explain." Irinia sat down and looked up at Andrei.

"You were such an inquisitive child. Always getting into trouble. You had to know everything. That curiosity didn't stop once you were older." He smiled fondly at his daughter.

"All I wanted was for you to be happy. I could never say no to you. I should have protected you better. I failed you my sweet daughter."

"Do you remember that trading mission to Concours?"

Irinia thought back to that mission. Of course she remembered it well. It was her first trading expedition. She had been so excited. There was a minor incident. She was too close to a console that had exploded. She was lucky that day, she had a small scar on her arm as a reminder.

Irinia pulled the sleeve of her shirt up to reveal the scar.

"See father you can barely notice the scar. How does this have anything to do with what's going on now?"

"I've always wondered how you remembered that day."

Irinia was puzzled by that comment. "What do you mean?"

Andrei was finding it harder to continue with his story. He could feel a tightening in his chest. He took a few deep breaths before he continued.

"It wasn't just a plasma burn. The console exploded without warning, there was nothing anyone could have done." He choked out the next words.

"You died instantly."

Both Dimitri and Irinia gasped at the revelation. Irinia couldn't form any words.

"I laid there on the deck cradling my sweet girl. There was some commotion on the deck. I was too overcome with grief to pay attention. I found out later that a jumpoint had opened not too far from the ship. A badly damaged spacecraft had emerged. Life signs were barely registering. They found you aboard that ship."

Finally she heard what she wanted to know. It was true she was Susan Ivanova.

"How did I become your daughter? Why do I have her memories and not Susan's?"

A/N Sorry about the cliffhanger.  I was going to include the explanation in  this chapter but I'm having a little trouble writing it.  So I thought why not post this until I can get the next straightened out.  Hope you enjoy.


Sep. 14th, 2009

Fic: Remember Susan/Talia Part 17

Title: Remember (Part 17/?)
Fandom & Pairing Babylon 5 Susan/Talia
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Dimitri had been watching Irinia all through her dinner with the telepath. She wasn't aware of his presence, he made sure of that. Her comment about his tracking skills dented his pride but she was right. This time he was careful and went undetected.

Dimitri was aware of Michael's presence before Irinia noticed him. He had contemplated intervening but decided to let it play out. Within minutes of the security chief's arrival Irinia became agitated. Dimitri chuckled to himself, she's got one hell of a temper on her.

Without warning he watched as Irinia stormed out of the restaurant. Dimitri left his hiding place and continued to track his friend. He followed her into the Gardens. He stopped a few yards from Irinia. She seemed upset and she was crying! This surprised him, he could count on one hand the times he has seen her cry.

Dimitri carefully approached Irinia and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Irinia are you ok?"

Irinia looked up into Dimitri's concerned face. It was too much for her to bare, she wrapped her arms around him. She buried her face in his neck and continued to sob.

"It's ok little sister, he crooned into her ear as he rubbed circles on her back. Irinia smiled at her childhood nickname. Wait were those even her memories she wondered. She began to cry harder at the realization.

Dimitri hugged her close to him. "Whatever you need I will be here to help you. Just tell what is so I can help you to fix it. Do you need me to get rid of that pesky security chief? I'm sure I could arrange to have him shoved out an air lock."

Irinia couldn't help but laugh. "Oh Dimitri, you sure know how to cheer me up!" She started to wipe away her tears with the back of her hand.

Dimitri kept an arm around her shoulders. He was waiting for her to settle down so that she could begin to explain why she was so upset.

Irinia took a few deep breaths trying to calm herself down. When she opened her eyes she was looking up into Dimtri's kind eyes. It made it easy to tell him what she needed to say.

"Remember what officer that everyone around here keeps mistaking me for?"

Dimitri nodded his head encouraging her to continue.

"Well Garabaldi had a lock of my hair tested and it was a match for her." She waited for any sort of reaction from her most trusted friend.

"Wait how did he get a lock of your hair?"

"Okay I just revealed that I might be Ivanova and you choose to zoom in on how he got my hair! Focus Dimitri!!"

"I'm sorry. He had no right to invade your privacy. Please let me take care of him."

"Dimitri as tempting as that sounds we can't do that", she said with a smirk.

"Wait a minute, Dimitri shook his head to clear the confusion. We grew up together I clearly remember that. It's impossible that you are Ivanova."

"That's what I was thinking. But I've noticed some things that make me question everything I believe in."

"What things?"

"Well for starters, you."

"Me, What have I done to make you doubt me?"

She sighed loudly before beginning her explanation. "Please Dimitri I didn't believe your reason for following me around the station. I mean really you could have come up with a better excuse. You were never good at lying."

Dimitri was about to deny the accusation but looking into her sad eyes he knew he couldn't lie to her any longer.

"Your father asked me to keep any eye on you, and before you ask I don't know why."

Irinia had to laugh, "You know me so well."

"I should also tell you that he is here on Babylon 5."

Irinia was shocked. This little bombshell reinforced the notion that her father was involved in this mess.

"What am I going to do Dimitri my whole life is falling apart. I don't know who I am anymore." She turned her back and willed herself not to cry.

"We will figure it out together. I told you little sister I am here for you no matter what."

"I want to confront father. He knows what's going on and I want answers. Let's go and find him."

Coming out of the shadows and startling both Dimitri and Irinia was Andrei Kralick himself.


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